Run Through The Hills 4

September 15, 2008    Category: Albino Bowler   No Comments »

     For the last 4 years, pro-touring.com and musclerides.com have joined forces to put on an awesome event up in the Pigeon Forge area.  For this year’s event, I took the Albino Bowler with me so he could get in on some of the action.

    What started as 11 guys getting together to hang out, talk shop, and cruise around through the mountains in their pro-touring style rides has turned into something a little bigger now… okay, it’s much bigger.  This year there was some 50+ cars entered into the event, which consists of a lot more then sitting around a parking lot.  This ain’t your typical car show.
    The premise behind what is referred to as a pro-touring style of build, is a car that does everything well.  These cars can go fast in a straight line just as easily as they can go around a corner.  Mash on the brakes… and get ready to stop on a dime, oh.. and all the while look good doing it.  These are not race cars we’re talking about here though, a lot of the cars have air conditioning and stereos as well as other creature comforts you’d look for in a street car.  Now, you may find a some roll cages in these cars, but talk to the owners and it’s safety first (seatbelt technology was not exactly wonderful in the ’60s)… not to mention it adds more than a little rigidity to the chassis.
    So what all does this event consist of?  Well the event starts off Friday night with “Bill’s Back Roads Boogie” which is a spirited drive through some of Tennessee’s notoriously twisty roads.  Attendees in the event vying for top bragging rights must participate in the cruise to prove that the car is in fact a street car (the cruise generally lasts over an hour or more).  The cruise ends at some predetermined restaurant for some dinner and fellowship.  Although this is a competitive event, you wouldn’t know it by the atmosphere.  It’s obvious that the guys that come out every year value the hangout and shop talk time just as much as they do the actual racing, which makes for a great time, especially when you throw in the fact that the vendors are just as into the hang out time as anyone else.  Pull up a chair next to Kyle Tucker, owner of Detroit Speed and Engineering, and fire away with as much suspension talk as you’d like.  He, as well as the other vendors, are up to the challenge.

    As mentioned before, the event is more than just a hangout, and the real action starts on Saturday.  Saturday’s event is the Auto-X.  If you’re not familiar with the idea, basically you find a big parking lot, throw in a bunch of cones arranged with a nasty set of turns and straight aways, add in some fancy timing lights, and you’ve got yourself a mini-road course that can provide hours of tire squealing  entertainment.  The Albino Bowler jumped in and helped out as a cone judge (the drivers get deducted time points for hitting cones)… but quickly decided that might be a little too close to the action.

    On Sunday, it’s time for some good old fashioned drag racing.  For the purposes of the competition, it’s all about ET’s and reaction times.  The kicker is that you’ve got to run on the same tires you used for the cruise and the auto-x… which requires a bit of strategy, and keeps things interesting.  In the end, a total of points was counted up for all events, and one person was named ‘King of the Hill’.  The great thing about it is you can bet that title will be heavily contested again next year!  See you then!

 

– Dan Thompson

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Ummm… can I come home now???

September 6, 2008    Category: Albino Bowler   No Comments »

     Okay this is silly, it is time for me to come home.. as much as I enjoy her company she is taking me everywhere.. which is cool for a guy like me ’cause I get to meet all types of people..but seriously she took me to the Village People last night.. I can’t do the YMCA so it was awkward..   Although she did mention tailgating and some orange might be in my future if I can’t get a ride home.

    So the the last two weeks have been fun since we have been back in Knox-Vegas..
    I think there was unpacking and then repacking to go out to Norris Lake for the long weekend.. you might see my tremendous tubing skills.    She was a little afraid to let me go boarding.. personally I think she was worried I would put her moves to shame.. duh..I did just float around for a while I think everyone thought that was safer.. since my life jacket is still in a box at Dans..    So this past week was uneventful.. grillin’ and chillin’ and then last night she got some VIP tix to the Village People.. sweet.. I thought it would be fun so off we went.. I am not sure those are ALL the originals.. but it was fun and  scary at the same time.. Chaps and a headdress?? wow.. but we had fun until well the whole YMCA things was a debacle.. but hey I had a gyro at the end pf the night so who can complain.

    Okay I have to get out of here.. she’s going to a going away party and needs to make some photo montage.. do you think it will have me in it.. I am such a camera hog..

Cherrio Peeps

– Erin Donovan

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Hamish MacBowler here…

August 26, 2008    Category: Albino Bowler   No Comments »

 Friday

    Hello me daft friends..I love it here.. the rain has been an annoyance, but it has not slowed us down from seeing everything..glen to glen you know..

    So when I last left you I was looking forward to a trip to the Glenlivet distillery. It was fun..see photo..or maybe Dan will take that one out..you can see it on my facebook page, maybe. There’s a lot to making it I swear I remember..water, peat and something else.

    Then we went to Clava Cairns..remember to roll your rrrrrrrr’s. These are burial chambers and standing stones..you know how my trick knee gets so I had to sit.

    There are so many funny things about this trip I cannot share with you here.. Erin will have to tell you face to face, to protect the innocent of course.

    The last stop of the day was at the Culloden Battlefield. Whoa Nellie these Scottish were serious..and there is a lot of history just behind this one battle. I am going to have to go look it up when I get home..internet is way to expensive here and Starbucks is too far away!! I’ll give you the update though..don’t worry lassies.

    Tonight we actually were piped into dinner. Yep a wee Scottish man and his bagpipes played us into dinner. Of course the girls were more interested in a party going on in another room where fellows from another distillery were having a party. Alas, they came back..awww

Saturday

    I went in search of the Loch Ness Monster..better known to locals as Nessie. As you can see by the photo all I found was a topiary planter. Phew. A trip to Urquhart Castle.. which was way cool.. lots of Fishermen in their little boats. Did I mention there is a lot of walking over here..my calves are killing me and I don’t mean those cute Highland coos.. that’s how you say it.. Then we got a little lost..no one was hurt. Oh side note we saw a bridge from the Harry Potter movie.. who knew? We went to a lovely hotel..great view..in the rain…

Sunday

Woke up to some unexpected guests, spiders..I being the stronger man on the trip shooed them away. Another yummy experience..I know I am pale..but this water takes the cake..

    I have taken my Dramamine. TWO ferry rides. We went to the Isle of Mull and then a passenger ferry to the Isle of Iona. Wow..We made it although some how one of the people from our group got on the wrong ferry..seems he wanted to get back to England..he’s back and the butt of many jokes. We’re just happy he’s back. This island is where they brought Christanty to Scotland..a couple years back…563 AD. Another interesting fact.. the Book of Kells was illuminated here by the Iona Monks. Don’t tell them I told you..but I fell in the sand..I was running and tripped..it was awkward.

 Monday

    We are headed for Glasgow.. Hmm rain imagine that..did I mention they have fashioned me a rain poncho? Kill me.. Today there was a lot of driving..moors and green scenery. There are a lot of movies filmed here.. we saw Hagrids house from HP movies.. Rob Roy was filmed up on one of the hills..when I say hills I mean HUGE mountains..and Braveheart..and a couple of others.
    Glen Coe is also home to a lot of ice and rock climbing..and a little massacre of the MacDonald’s..no not Ronald..see? daft.

    Ahh I have to go.. will write more when I can..I hopefully will be home soon if I live to tell the tales.. there are a lot of funny ones..enjoy the photos..

 

– Erin Donovan

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Stop calling me a wee lad!!

August 22, 2008    Category: Albino Bowler   No Comments »

    What the heck day is it anyway?? I think it’s Tursday, that’s how they say it here.. I love the accent, I think I’ve picked a wee bit of it up me self..

Wednesday

    So since I last typed.. ooh they are all starting to blend together now..I told you about two castles.. after our last night of carvery..that’s what Alex our tour guide calls it when they carve your meat.. it is a little funnier to the folks who have been here since day one.. seems all the hotel wanted to give them for dinner was turkey, roast beef and gammon or ham to you and me…

    So we headed out to the Northeast. First stop South Queensferry. One question.. will it ever stop raining? Seems we are breaking records here for rainfall. GREAT!! now say it with a Scottish accent and it sounds better.

    We meandered around the seaside city..I had my first bite of fish and chips.. I thought that was more England.. but what do I know? I would have liked a pint.. but not for lunch. Went into some stores.. but nothing interests me.. a lot of tartans but nothing in my size. Back on the road to Firth of Fourth.. c’mon people I cannot make this up.. it’s GREAT!!  Of course we went of the Forth Bridge in to the Kingdom of Fife.. I hear pipers..To all the golfers out there.. I went to St. Andrew’s.. this is where I stick my one good arm up and say na na na boo boo.. I tried my had at putting on the green and called it good, eat your heart out lads..
Thursday    Started off with a cup of coffee. Ah sweet nectar. Criminy it is still raining.. and might I add, hard. We went to Crathes Castle.. the gardens were our first stop.. great flowers in the rain these girls are killing me..and I think there may be some mold growing in my box. Although there was an awesome strip of grass that could be used for lawn bowling if you asked me.. but you didn’t. Then we took a tour of the castle.. I was not in one photo here..not allowed.. personally I would have looked cool in some of those areas, it’s a 16th century granite tower house.. Erin had her head hanging out at one point.. silly girl..

    Then we went to Craithe Kirk. This is where the Royals worship when they are on holiday. As you can see by the picture.. if it’s good enough for the Queen Mum.. its good enough for Albino MacBowler. Erin had to go to the gift shop.. seems the Royals have corgis.. and so does her mom.. less room for me in the bag..

     Went and had some lunch meandered around and went to the old train station where I saw the Royal Flush.. or Loo.. sort of creepy. I got my picture taken there.. I can’t take one in the church, but I can take one in the loo.. go figure. Well back to the hotel to dry out.. hopefully tomorrow will be a little drier. We are going to the Grampian Hills.. this is Scotland’s Whiskey Country. Glenlivet Distillery is our first stop.. there may be no more photos after that one..

– Erin Donovan

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    As the Albino filled you in earlier, we’ve had delays everywhere.  We FINALLY landed in New Jersey… and I notice he does like to sleep.  I made him a cool travel box and just left him in there as we tried to get; A: another flight, B: a hotel room, or C: none of the above.  We were dragging but had to stand in line for 3 hours to get our tickets for our next flight…. Sunday.  Grrrr.  After we got our stuff we were terminal bound… time to get some sleep.  Bino watched a cool documentary on my iPhone while I napped for about an hour.  Finally we have a hotel room.  Days Inn… who knew they had changed their name to Days Hotel…. why??
    We saw some people we were in line with earlier in the day and wow were they interested in Bino’s backstory.  I swear he must remind people of someone they know.  We took our photo with our new friends… I jumped in that one.  The guys wanted to take him with them to Dubai, he said it sounded like fun, but he has this whole tour thing planned and was not sure how work would feel if he just went willy nilly off traveling the world.  They were trying to call him out though, “Where’s your passport?”, one asked.  I said it was lost with my luggage.

    So, now he is tuckered out… I think he’s in the bathroom.  I am about to try to nap again.  There are lots more photos to come, but not right this minute.
    I think we may go into the City tomorrow, so hopefully he will entertain some New Yorkers.  Then we fly out tomorrow night… Scotland or bust!

– Erin Donovan

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DAY ONE
    Okay so I am used to it when I go with one of the folks from work.. but I think you set me up for an adventure with this one.. Hopefully she doesn’t see me hunting and pecking on this laptop..you know my shoulder still bothers me a little but the swelling has gone down.. so excuse any typos..  So after you dropped me off we went over to her house where she was running around like a chicken with her head cut off.. I being the cool guy just watched some Olympics (I love the tympani).. wow that Michael Phelps and those volleyball players.. anywhoo.. she’s packing up a storm.. the dog is sniffing me and this cat..cut it with the tail..

    Some of her friends came over we had some za and played some eukere.. I stink..so does she..at the card game.. everyone leaves and she starts with me and my stuff..I’m a simple dude.. green shirt..white pants and oh so cool comb for the hair.. the issue she’s having seems Dan scared her a little bit about my surgery and she wants to make sure I am as comfortable as possible.. now the new crib.. how come you guys never did that for me??  I so love it. It’s got A.C., kicking acoustics, I think there may be some satin or velvet in there.. so I am getting off this thing.. I think I am allergic to the cat..

DAY TWO

    Off we go to the studios.. I think Erin is nervous that I am going to leave.. in my traveling box.. note to self..must think of oh so cooler name for new crib.  We go to work and she goes to some meetings, lets me out to breathe, and edits some stuff.. they have a lot of computers and jeez it’s loud..I like our office..semi quiet and the pond..lake.. whathaveyou.. oh did I mention that she dragged me all over the newsroom to meet people.. I think they are curious as to our relationship.. I mean I am going to Scotland with the woman. She informs them we are friends and I am the consummate traveler.. also a good wing man..They also just made me watch the scene from “So I Married an Axe Murder” “The colonel with his wee beatty eyes and his seven herbs and spices.. and the kid with the head.. SPUTNICK.. I think they are trying to tell me something so now it’s back to the house and then arggh back into my kickin travel crate. No not funny.. think harder man.. anywho..now I am in the car with the ladies.. less than 24 hours and we’ll be in Scotland and I can get my kilt..I might try caber tossing..

    Tickets in hand.. we make it through security.. although they kept backing me up and..should I have asked for a lead vest?? I feel violated..ah the plane is delayed.. oh camera is coming out.. she thinks I am a rock star!!  Off to Cleveland.. she gets a picture of me srapped into my seat.. you’d think I’d never done this before..land in Cleveland..we wait.. seems there are some storms in New Jersey..and we wait.. waiting.. is that People magazine.. it’s a guilty pleasure.. Off to ..yawn.. Newark.. then to Edinburgh..

    Wake up fresh from my nap..and we missed our plane to Scotland.. here is where it starts.. Erin is patient.. and this Amy girl seems to be nice. they are traveling together we’ll meet up with other folks there but for now.. we are like Three’s Company..do do do doooooo.  Okay so it is 3am and we are driving around trying to find a hotel.. I am of course comfy in the box. The girls not-a-so much.. Ok back to the terminal.. Wait in line for two hours..I am sleeping I have no idea what those two did standing there for so long.. I did hear some lady complaining about getting to Dublin and some other guy wanted to go back to Cleveland.. uh duh did we not just leave there?? Oh wait.. I am being remiss..

 DAY THREE
    Yep here we are.. they said we could fly stand-by tonight or definitely get out on Sunday. Did I mention that Erin checked her suitcase and she left all the chargers and the doo-hickeys that import photos in there…so all the photos from Knox-Vegas and Cleveland are still in her camera.. not to mention her deoderant.. oh now that was not nice..so many more to come.. I kid I kid she’s fine..so we’re uhhh they are going to take naps.. since they have been up for over 24 hours now.. so one on the chairs (Amy) and Erin has some serape wrapped around her and she is sleeping on the floor.. it sort of looks like a homeless shelter in here.. people are everywhere sleeping.. However I am typing up a storm in hopes that she paid a wifi bill…
    Did I mention that I am about to start watching a documentary? She’s trying to make me a well rounded dude!! sweet..okay, well, I’ll let you know how things are going… I think there was talk of just going to the Caribbean.. but I told them I burn and it’s not a good idea.. so we wait..I’ll let you know..tell everyone at the office hi..hey was Friday payday??
Later,
AB

– Erin Donovan

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A day for the history books

August 15, 2008    Category: Albino Bowler   No Comments »

    Mark this day down on your calendar so you can tell your grand kids about it… you witnessed this day in history.  The Albino Bowler is leaving today for Scotland, and is doing so with a non-Claris employee!!  So who is this totally unbelievably lucky person???  Well, we have bestowed this distinct honor on Claris Networks’ good friend Erin Donovan of WBIR fame.

    Erin is an awesome photographer / videographer… and we *think* she can write… so we’re expecting great things from her (no pressure girl… really.  I mean we wouldn’t just give out the Albino Bowler to just anyone, but no pressure).  Be sure to check back and see what all the Albino Bowler has found to get into, and remember, “If it’s not Scottish, it’s crap!!”

– Dan Thompson

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**WARNING** The images in this post may be unsuitable for younger viewers and those with sensitive stomachs!!

    Don’t say you weren’t warned!  The Albino Bowler recently underwent some pretty intensive surgery, which involved a complete dismemberment… pretty gruesome stuff!!

   The need for surgery actually came about on the Albino Bowler’s alleged first trip to Greece (the one we have no pictures of…).  His right arm… yes, that’s his bowling arm, was completely severed.  It was repaired though… and subsequently broken off AGAIN on his trip to California.  Very disturbing.  After the last repair he managed to travel to Australia and New Zealand without any mishaps… however on his latest trip to Greece, his arm was broken off yet another time.  Poor guy!!!

   I am happy to report however that the Albino Bowler is all back together and in good health.  His arm is a little looser now than it used to be… but at least it’s attached!

– Dan Thompson

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Vibraslaps Show in Knoxvegas

August 2, 2008    Category: Albino Bowler   No Comments »

    Our good friend Paul Noe has been harassing me for some time (which includes late night phone calls with lots of yelling) to come check out his band The Vibraslaps; so last night I rallied the troops and made it happen.  Turns out Paul and his crew are quite the talented and entertaining bunch… not that I’m surprised… if you know Paul, you know he’s quite the ham in real life.  I’m still struggling to make a decision, but I’m pretty sure my favorite was their rendition of “Hey Ya!” by Outkast, although one other song I don’t know the name of (yes, I lived through the 80′s.. and am still in need of therapy) was clearly the crowd favorite judging by the crowd-sing-o-long meter. 

   All in all, it was a good time and a great show.  I don’t know that I ever had a favorite cover band, but I certainly do now.  Oh, and by the way, we now officially have pictures of the Albino Bowler in Knoxville.  How funny is it that we’ve got pictures of this thing all over the world, but not in it’s home town.  Good stuff.

    Paul, keep on rock’n in the free world.

– Dan Thompson

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Athens, Greece

July 31, 2008    Category: Albino Bowler

    Greek people seem to think it odd that I take pictures of this action figure with their ancient ruins.  They stop and just stare as if I’m doing something weird.  Guess Flat Stanley didn’t make it here.  The Bowler had a ball none the less.  He stood on roads and buildings that were built in the 600 b.c. time frame.  He stood where the Apostle Paul stood when he was at the judgment or bema seat in ancient Corinth as well as on the spot where Paul gave his famous speech to the Greek people about Jesus.  (See Acts 17:22-31 and Acts 18:12-17)

    On his journeys the Bowler visited Poseidon’s Temple in Sounion, Greece.  He saw graffiti carved in ancient marble columns that dates from 200 a.d. to 50 years ago.  Some of it from famous people like Lord Byron.

    The next stop was the Acropolis in Athens which is where the Parthenon and several over temples such as Nike’s still stand.  From the acropolis you can see all of Athens, a city of over 4 million people and not one skyscraper.  He marveled at how they build the Parthenon without one straight line because they knew if they did they would look curved to the human eye, therefore all the lines are curved to make them look straight and the building look larger.

    The last stop for the bowler was the ancient city of Corinth and the Acrocorinth which is Corinth’s acropolis, which apparently in Greek means a very large and high rock that was created for the building of temples.  Today the Acrocorinth has a few ruins and fortress walls built in the 12th and 13th century a.d.

– Chad Quesenberry

If you’d like to see more pictures from this trip, go here: qberryfarms.com (thealbinobowler.com makes no guarantees as to the content of externally linked sites)

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